Monday, July 19, 2010

Burgers and Multi-faceted..

So I’m having a reflective moment right now.. Upon hearing several of my mates utter “hey did you get an invite to the mini reunion  at blah blah blah (highschool cough ahem!)..” it got me a-wondering…
Now, it’s no secret that I was not the most popular item in a burger.. Some people are born to be the buns - mainly those sporty or seriously good-looking and therefore popular people..
The bun people, true to their role on the burger, were always at the top of everything - the most prominent, in the limelight and although a part of the collective burger, there was no burger without them - you had to have them and god they knew it. Alternatively, if they weren’t at the top of everything, they were just underneath you.. You’d think your time had come to be the leader or get the guy, and before you knew it, there they were, sliding in underneath you and stealing all your glory. A constant reminder that you better watch yourself cause they were the main show - they were THE burger..
And you move on to the the meat pattie people - the seriously brainy kids.
These people; you didn’t HAVE to have them but it made the place a lot nicer. They were respected, sometimes mocked or teased but mostly just accepted. The buns knew that they kinda needed the meat in order to -
a. have someone to be better looking than or
b. have someone they could go to for tutorial..
As it turned out, some of the meat people grew up and experienced many changes. Marinades and Sauces adorned them and many become amazing versions of their former, rarer self. It also helps that they went on to get lucrative jobs and could buy fries, lemonade and an ice cream cones at leisure…
Moving to the salad people - the rest of us.
The lettuce - Floaty, wavy creative people who come in all varieties and were just too cool for school. They were looked upon as being a bit “out-there” but somewhat funky - like mesculin.
The onions - Mean nasty bitches who would cheerfully make you cry. If there is any justice, hopefully most of those people grew up to be as round as onions..
The cheese - The relaxed, “everyone likes the cheese” calm, casual people who just hung around, looked good and fitted in with everyone..
The beetroot - Bold, naughty people who stained the school in various ways - graffiti, nikko tributes to former loves, ciggie butts. On the whole, they radiated - stay away unless you’re tuff..
I was and still may be a pickle. you either love or you hate em. A total pre-requisite or tossed out the window faster than you can say “bio-degradable wrapper.” Most of the population view the pickle as a weird little vegie, an inconvenience on an otherwise brilliant burger.. Others say it’s an acquired taste. Many questioned it’s merits but pickles are usually determined little buggars that fought for inclusion and did their best to leave a dent in the burger if forcibly removed… I have no doubt, me and a few select others, were pickles.. Some people LOVE pickles - reverie and spread the word about their fantastic qualities but have you noticed; they’re all a bit strange too??
So there is my role. An acquired taste worshipped by an eclectic few..
The pickle, all these years later, is yet to be recognised by the buns - actually I think there's been some study done by some loser PHD Meat Pattie, at the University of Idiot Thesises, which conclusively proved that it's pretty much NEVAH GOING TO HAPPEN.. Those buns can be basards for life apparently...
This pickle didn't care about the reunion snub. I glanced at the "gloat photos" -buns, some obviously VERY stale, lettuces that had wilted or had become way too close too nature with excessive body hair and "natural smells", the cheeses were aimless, not committed and out of work and although, the patties were still smart and knew lots of things about money and stuff,  those stock market freaks and intelligent professors of contitutional law blah blah blah sorry I dozed off! Nooo. These was no jealosy or longing at all with this pickle...
Cause let's face it? Have you seen my Gehrkin husband?? He can lay side by side with me on a burger any old day...

1 comment:

  1. I think I was a pattie. OMG I love this Christie. Write a damn book woman. And hurry up about it!